Ivor O’Connor

March 23, 2009

I hate swimming

Filed under: Uncategorized — ioconnor @ 4:09 am

What’s there to like about swimming? It’s wet. It’s cold. You get water up your nose. In your ears. In your mouth. In your nasal cavities. In your stomach. In your lungs. This is water other people have spit out in the lanes next to you. It’s the crap off those old people and piss from the young kids. And more. It’s chlorine. It’s dirty. And I’m not even talking about ocean water yet…

I can’t count all the times I’ve reached down to pick up something hours after a swim only to have water come pouring out my nose. Or have water seep out my ear late at night as I try to sleep. Or the hypothermia that creeps up on ocean swims you don’t notice until stumbling out of the water. That’s probably the worst part since it sometimes takes a day to fully recover.

I guess we are human and have to put up with being human and living in this world. Still it grosses me out. Not to mention I’m slow at it. That’s probably it. Sour grapes. I guess swimming would not be a problem if I could do one mile in less than 30 minutes. 1760 yards to a mile, 50 yards to a lap, 36 laps to a mile. Basically 36 laps at an average of less than 50 seconds per lap. Hmmm.

This is one of those situations where I’m pretty sure it’s sour grapes. I need to hunker down and put in some pool time each day. It’s not going to kill me and perhaps I’ll quit whining…

I have a solution I’ve been meaning to try. I lose count making long pool swims problematic. However if I took a rubber band with me and moved it from finger to finger on the flips I’d be able to keep count. (On the flips my hands are next to each other.) Can a single rubber band solve one of life’s biggest problems? Possibly, especially with a backup rubber band in case the first breaks, I will have turned the corner on this most hated of topics. Ten laps kicking to acclimate then 36 laps on the clock. Nothing strenuous. I’ll give it a try tomorrow and see how it goes…

UPDATE 2009.04.04: It has not been going well. First off I’ve had trouble remembering to take the rubberbands with me. Working a new procedure into my rituals is never without problems. Then there’s the problem of rubber bands being difficult to quickly grab and move to another finger. I’ve gone through a few now. I’ve even gone to a department store to buy various ones. Currently I have two. One fat wide yellow band slightly bigger than my fingers. And the other is a super wide green band slightly smaller in diameter than the yellow band. I have yet to try it. I don’t lose the yellow because I use it to tie the goggle straps together. I’m going to look for some hair bands. If I could quickly grab the hair band without worry of pulling or scratching my skin off things would go better. Still this simple technique has been working.

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